Monday, July 31, 2006

a small problem makes little pleasure more precious

thank god. other than suffering from the big problem, i encountered some little pleasure too.

i duno whether i m exaggerating it to make myself feel better or jz bcoz a small problem makes little pleasure more precious, i m kinda happy now.

today, v checked our accounting courseworks. n i got 58.xx/60. i was so happy!! haha . highest. the other 40% ll depends on my final's performance.

other than that, on the way home, i was peeped by a girl. hehe... PROUD!!! feel so good to be admired. mayb i fancy too much.the girl kept staring at me on the train. mayb today my hip-hop long-sleeve hat shirt covered my bad body shape very well. felt so high today.

other than thinking so hard how big the problem is, y dun v exaggerate the little pleasure so tat v can feel much better?

bad luck + dillema = sux

can i cry? i guess i cant. even if i cry, it doesnt help.

hav u even been in a dillema? u got into trouble after helping others, the 3rd party still said tat it was ur fault. u cant blame the one tat seeks help from u. blaming urself is of coz stupid. but the 3rd party claim tat u r the one who shud b blamed. i hate this! y m i the one who is wrong? i m not! hav u ever thought on my side? if i dun help due to my own selfishness, i ll b blamed by the one who asked me for helps too. i m in a dillema? i m puzzled!!!

the story began in this wonderful rainy morning. rainy - the weather i love the most. as i almost reached coll, i got a msg from beng hui, asking me to write his name in the attendance list since he would b late due a traffic jam in klang. i was puzzled when i read his msg. i didnt know wat to do. i even wished tat i nv read his msg or he sent this msg to others.

as i reached coll, beng hui still not there yet. MY GODDDD... i prayed n prayed, hoping tat he would b in the class before that big fat american meatball - borges locked the door. if it wasnt his class, i didnt mind helping beng hui. but it's his class, n today's class attendance of being a jury (trial attendace) cost everyone of us 5% or even my trial performance marks, another 10%.

my wish didnt work, tat meatball locked the door. as the attendace list was passed to me. i didnt know wat to do. after writing my name, i passed it to william. after he wrote his, i wrote 'LEE BENG HUI', as i tot writing his name apart from mine would help even if tat meatball checked the namelist n investigated it. after tat, wat i did was to pray tat v would get the break soon as the door would b opened n it was the only chance tat beng hui could get in.

"there is no break today." that meatball said. i was shocked. my god!!! n the name list had been passed to his table tat i couldnt change it anymore. as the trial was almost end, i tot i was safe.

v, as juries were asked to discuss who would win the case outside the classroom. as v went into the classroom with an answer, tat meatball shouted, "i found tat there were 2 imaginery persons in the namelist, who did it?"

"if u dun admit, i would call ur name 1-by-1 n investigate it", he countinue barking.

"oh shit..," i murmured.

as tot i would continue with my strategy of not admitting, wern how put his hand up n admitted tat he wrote for grace (his gf). so, i followed.

wat a F!!! he asked us to stay in the classroom while others were leaving. before everyone had left the classroom, that brutal meatball barked n yelled at wern how n i, "it is like stealing! who teach u ur ethics? i duno, but i m sure tat i ll start it by giving punishments." it was very embarassing bcoz others heard wat he was barking.

punishments??? no!!! i cant lose my trial marks.. i really need it. i cant score well in my final, tats y i worked so hard on my trial.

he didnt tell us wat the punishments r, but i think my marks as being a jury would b forfeited n mayb my trial performance marks too. NO!!! i cant afford to lose my scholarships n my dean's list. pls!!!

i attended the trial as a jury n i did quite well in my trial performance, y m i the one who is penalized? no way! not fair! i was even criticized by some ppl.

y m i so unlucky tat beng hui sent the msg to me but not dav or julian? pls tell me... if i didnt write his name there, i would blame myself for being so selfish. but as i did it, i would die too. i hate this.

i cant lose my scholarships. NOOOOOOOOOO

Saturday, July 29, 2006

aup ball aftermath

i woke up at 7am bcoz bh's room was too cold. he didnt giv me a blanket n i had to squeeze myself into a shirt to cover my legs. my godd.. i was so tired but i couldns stand the cold. i was tortured!!!

as i tot that after having the prep course class from 9-1pm, i could finally go home n slept like a dead body, but i couldnt. i had an american history court trial meeting after that. sad...

it was raining, i was so sleepy. i hoped it could b done within 1 or 2 hrs. but, NO! the meeting ended at 6.30pm. my god. it was like killing me. anyway, i did enjoy in the meeting. i got the chance to voice up my opinions bout how to counter the prosecutor's Qs (i m in the defence group). i even told my groupmate bout wat i learned from being a red-crescent society member, n it helped! bcoz i was the only person who knew the difference between red-crescent n red-cross society. hehe...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

the day b4 trial

i slept from 10pm - 7am. but i still got a headache. a very serious 1. it was with me troughout the whole day. mayb bcoz i really slept too much. haha.

during the break time of the prep course, hui ching, esther, zi yu, dav, bh n i went to baker's cottage n all in a sudden they decided to buy a chocolate cake n share it in the class. haha. another crazy act. the staff cut it into 6 pieces n put them in separate boxes.

as i tot there was no meeting today, i was very happy tat i could go back n continue hibernating. but!!! the meeting was still on. v waited n waited at the concourse. so, v ate our cakes n even took a photo of all those slices of cakes with our six of our hands.

then, v decided to go somewhere for our lunch. they suggested SS2, tomyam.. n huiching even suggested my favorite tomyam seafood noodles at segambut. my god, i love the seafood tom yam mee so much. but it is very expensive, about rm13 for 1 bowl. after discussing for very long time (wat an undecisive gang), v finally went to asia cafe which is jz at the opposite of our coll. haha...

all of us ordered spicy pan mee as v were so crazy n long for spicy food tat afternoon. n, i rained, very very heavily. the roof was leaking n v had to shift to the next table jz bcoz of tat. after eating, v even chatted for almost 1-1.5 hr b4 v went back to coll for the meeting. haha.

as v were back at coll, they were finalizing everything. i jz helped up a bit. n talked craps hehe..

reaching home, i couldnt sleep yet. i still had to prepare my shirt, pants n everything to make myself look like an iraqi soldier. i also needed to prepare bandage for chong yih (dick chainie).

tired + headache.

court trial

i looked so weird in soldier pants + dark green body-fit t-shirt. but, no choice, i m an IRAQI SOLDIER(witness)!
i looked even thinner in tat body fit shirt. my god, i felt like being a 'lala' when i actually wore tat soldier pants of my bro. although he bought it from three-point-six, i felt tat it was so LALA n i beginned to doubt his fashion sense.

as i reached the coll, i dashed into the toilet to put on my bandage n draw a scar on my face.

as the trial started, i could c a very big difference between our team n the opposite team. 6 of our members + 1 lawyer wore coat n looked so ying but the opposite team lawyer wore a short-sleeve shirt + slippers. my god. "sure win!" haha, even b4 it started, v were confident tat v would win since v had a capable lawyer, wern-how (my lecturer - borges loves him so much) + many other coperative members.

this trial was based on a case judging tat iraq war was unnecessary, unjust. n i was in the defense group, supporting US.

the beginning statement of our lawyer was so much longer than theirs. yeah !!! so, the questioning of witness of their team started. when wern-how questioned one of their witnesses, the witness even gav an answer tat was favourable to us by telling "iraq war was justified". thank you so much. haha..

n after a short break, it was the turn of our witnesses to be questioned. n i was the first one! hehe. i was kinda nervous. looking at the handy cam tat recorded everything, i tried to smile to release my tension.

"i solemnly swear" n my questioning session started. to act like an iraqi soldier, i tried to speak as much muslim phrases like 'assalamualaikum' ,'alham dullilah' as possible bcoz i knew borges love acting. haha

after answering wern-how questions as planned earlier, i was very nervous tat i would b questioned by the prosecutor. tat fellow started with the first n most sux Q, "wat's ur muslim name?". my name was given by borges as terry toner. wat shud i answer?

after pondering for a while, i answered, " terry muhammad bin... ahmad " haha..

tat fellow even continued," wat took u so long to remember ur name?"

i was blur.. looking at borges, he finally said, "u cant ask tat Q since the name is given by me. if were to do tat, the defense lawyer can do the same to ur witnesses too." HAHAHAHA... padan muka!

n then tat fellow kept asking Qs, luckily i knew how to twist n turn to answer his tricky Qs.

n tat trial jz stopped half-way since the time was over n it would continue on fri. wat? continue on fri? this means tat i hav to wear this terrible attire again on fri? NO!!! no choice.

kinda happy since i could bomb tat fellow. haha

Saturday, July 22, 2006

aup ball aftermath

i woke up at 7am bcoz bh's room was too cold. he didnt giv me a blanket n i had to squeeze myself into a shirt to cover my legs. my godd.. i was so tired but i couldns stand the cold. i was tortured!!!

as i tot that after having the prep course class from 9-1pm, i could finally go home n slept like a dead body, but i couldnt. i had an american history court trial meeting after that. sad...

it was raining, i was so sleepy. i hoped it could b done within 1 or 2 hrs. but, NO! the meeting ended at 6.30pm. my god. it was like killing me. anyway, i did enjoy in the meeting. i got the chance to voice up my opinions bout how to counter the prosecutor's Qs (i m in the defence group). i even told my groupmate bout wat i learned from being a red-crescent society member, n it helped! bcoz i was the only person who knew the difference between red-crescent n red-cross society. hehe...

today, u went back to melaka. i wished i could follow u too. be careful dear. u were starving when u sms me. my god, pls take good care of urself n nv take 'keep fit' as a reason, ok? starving is really bad for our health. as a person who always get gastric, i know it very well.

i was really tired, let's sleep.

Friday, July 21, 2006

aup ball

i had my acc test b4 the ball. it was not easy.

then, i followed beng hui back to his house since i couldnt reach the ball on time if i were to go home. after 30-min
ride, v finally reached his house in bukit tinggi,klang. not bad, quite spacious as the house is only for 4ppl.

then, v prepared, bathed (of coz separately), set our hair. but then b4 the ball, my fren received a msg from his gf, telling that the necklace that he gav her as a present was broken. i asked him to call his gf to scold her for not taking care of it(haha, jz try to make fun). but, he answered very seriously, "i worry now. i broke up with my ex few days after the necklace i gave her was broken." MY GOD, i m stupid. i was so sorry tat i told nonsense. i tried to comfort him by telling tat it was jz a coincidence. not a problem, dun worry.

then, he 'disappeared' from the room, to call her gf, i guess. after bout 15mins, he was done, n v left his house to holiday villa, subangjaya. he even showed me his ex's pic b4 v left his house. frankly, her current gf is prettier despites his endless comments saying tat his gs is not very pretty!!!

my shirt was very loose, not fit at all (no $ to buy, jz simply borrowed it from bro - cham... haha). the shirt looked very terrible on me compare to beng hui's shirt - fit, nice, stylish. but i hav a stud!!! haha. the stud is shinny, n i guess it was the main attraction of me. hehe...

as v reached there, i love the victorian ballroom so much. the scenery there was terribly nice, heavenly designed. my god..n i saw kuhan, with his new hairstyle - highlighted blonde hair. but he didnt really spike it up, so it looked kinda weird (sorry, kuhan. i jz dun wanna lie). i was shocked when i saw hui ching. my god, she was really brave enuf to wear tat dress. the dress was nice, n most important, it was kind explosive. haha.. let's c how it was in these pics.

tonite, i got to know how funny those girls are, hui ching, esther, daphne, zi yu, n bee khim. the food were jz soso.. when i was eating, beng hui n i were requested to accompany those girls to go to the carpark since xiao wei's shoe's belt was broken. so hot. when we were finally back from the carpark, i kept on eating, trying to make my rm72 worth more than that.

the performances especially the break dance was fantastic! so ying!!! tat crazy hui ching even wanted to marry tat guy (urgh...) those video clips were very interesting too, especially the self-made INTItial D movie. i think i ll really get involved in performances nx yr. really, i miss my time of organizing big events in high school so much. during the mystery gifts sessions,although i got nothing, but my fren - beng hui got it! yeah!!! hui ching got it too. then jian wei also got it. but, it was loh jian wei , not tan jian wei. haha. so sad. he even showed off in front of me. haha b4 the ball started its dancing session, a short vidoe clip paying tribute to ms khor(AUP director) was played. it was really touching, ms khor even cried for tat. although i had nv taken his psychology class, i know tat she is really friendly, kind from our casual conversation. i would rather call her my friend than my lecturer.

with grace, beng hui

with jenn ho n beng hui

as the dancing session started, v went out n took several stupid photos. v even imitated a sculpture. funny. tis was when i knew more bout my classmates. really happy. suddenly, esther said her butterfly pin was lost, so did beng hui's camera's cover!!! so, v went to the carpark again, looking for it. n then to the garden, ballroom, toilet, n even the lift. finally beng hui got the butterfly pin in the garden. after few minutes, v got beng hui's camera's cover in the ballroom. yeah!!! wat a lucky but tiring nite.

i tooke a photo with muhe too. after that, she went away.

with muhe, the stalker

with ah beng, i slept at his house tat nite.

the gang of our table + esther

stupid photo taken at the entrance with a 'not-so-tall' guy.

i was surprised tat how could she only take 1 photo with me since she oledi ordered me to take a lot of photos with him tat nite. in fact, she stalked me AS USUAL. whenever i hav a presentation n i dress up in formal, she stalks me.

i was stalked by muhe

then v left the ball at 12.30am, heading to a mamak for yam cha. i ordered banana juice shake. wat a weird drink! i ordered it as it was recommended by zi yu n her bf, eugene. n so, v talked craps, cold jokes, dirty jokes, IQ games until 3am. i was surprised tat esther n daphne knew quite a lot of dirty jokes. haha. i finally knew their true self.

then beng hui n i reached his home at 3.30am. i fell on the matress nx to beng hui's bed n slept. but, it was so cold as beng hui didnt giv me a blanket other pillow. his mum was not there n he didnt know where it was. so unlucky.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

impromptu speech

oh no!!! i had my impromtu speech today!!!

i was so nervous n helpless bcoz i couldnt do anything to prepare but pray!

as i entered the class, i was still calm since i would b the 12th which is the 2nd last to present as picked yesterday.
n, it started. the first person was asked to choose a number, n a topic was given. the person was given 5mins to prepare outside the classroom with a table n a chair.

after 1 hr, it was my turn. i picked no.10. actually i wanted to pick no.14 since it was my bday date but sathia had chosen it. n, no.10 gives me a topic of PATRIOTISM.

walao ehh. apa ni? wat a dry topic.
as i stepped out from the classroom, wat was on my mind was "negaraku.. tanah tumpah ia darah ku" - the national anthem. so, i decided to start my speech with national anthem to stunt my classmates n lecturer.

having a an interesting starting, i started to think bout my specific purpose of this speech.. ok, let it b.. "to inform my audience as to why malaysians like us are not patriotic" i was distracted, sitting outside a classroom with a table n chair was so weird!!! it made me thought of the punishment tat primary school teachers usually used by the time i was still a primary school student. those who didnt finish their homework would b asked to do their homework n sit outside the classroom. it was so embarassing when i was doin my outline of the speech. the students stared at me from the taylor's bulding. also, inti students of the nex class who were having their break stared at me. my goddd...

after preparing 2 points with a poor conclusion, it was my turn to present.

as i sang the national anthem, everyone burst out laughing. n then i continued my speech. however, there was 1 idiot who kept showing the facial expression of uneasy, couldnt understand. he really brought my confidence down. n i stopped quite a few times. blur. haha finally done.

as i tot tat my marks would b terrible, i got 20/25 in fact !!! yeahh.. my lecturer was really too kind to me compare to others. wat a lucky day.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

a trip to port klang for doulos

i was shocked that i ll hav my impromptu speech presentation by nx day. however,kuku n i hav promised ray to go to port klang with him for the book exhibition on doulos.

as v reached the ktm station, port klang, v were so excited to c how doulos look like. but, v saw nothing. after asking a woman, her answer really stunted me. she said "kapal tu kat west port la, jauh dari sini". my god...(i wanna kill ray). v then took a taxi which costs us rm20 but i didnt mind since it was paid by our boss - ray.

as v reached there,another problem - there is almost no bus or taxi service at the west port. wat could v do when v wanna go home? thanks to ray again. v jz didnt care, walked thru the very long port till v reached the ship -doulos. it was quite huge. v took several stupid photos as usual. looking thru those books, i finally bought nothing. what v got were PHOTOS, including a photo taken in the toilet of the ship, with a sign telling the correct way of using toilet bowl. thanks for educating me.

v tot tat v could hav a visit around the ship other than the exhibition site, but v couldnt. kuku n i felt tat v were cheated by ray to accompany him for this meaningless doulos trip, really! b4 v left the ship, i saw an inti lecturer there, jz felt like wanna advise her to leave there. ahha...

to got to the main land, v had to walk all the way thru the brigde again. v were happy, more photos were taken with different stupid posses. then, v took near the seaside again. another stupid pose was discovered by me - to carry the ship!

as ray saw me doin this pose quite well, he asked me to take a shot of him with the same pose as mine, but when everything was set at the right angle, right poses, 1... 2... 3... As i pressed the button, "BATTERY EMPTY" wahah... i was luckier than ray!

v didnt c any bus at the west port, i started to worry although the guard said tat there would b a bus every 1-2hr. 3 of us had nothing to do but to play sudoku, listening to mp3, eating my bun as U asked me eat. v were anxious and this feelings bcame more severe every minute. surprisingly, v saw a BUS!!! a TRANSNASIONAL BUS. v were like rats running of sinking ships, dashing towards the bus,so stupid.

another problem aroused though v had got a bus, v didnt know where to stop!!! v were heading towards klang ktm station but v didnt know when was the rite time to drop. after guessing n 'analyzing' for a while, ray finally asked the driver as many ppl dropped at a same junction.yes, it is !!! my assumption was correct! after dropping, v didnt know how to walk to the ktm station n luckily a malay guy led us. thanks a lot!!!

and i finally reached home at 7.30pm. yeah~!!!! it was indeed a lucky day for 3 of us. v met lots of good n polite malaysians, who says malaysians r rude?! v met a helpful bus driver, malay guy, guard. the similarities of these good ppl r, THEY R ALL MALE!!!

how bout tmr's presentation? i duno. jz try my best.

u told me tat ur roommate is not in these few days, this really made having the intention to giv ur hostel a visit on the nex few days. but, i ll hav to attend a ball on fri. sad. miss u alot. study hard!!!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

birthday aftermath

beng hui's bday was over. but the effect was still here.

today after 12pm, ray, beng hui n i went to pyramid again as ray said tat v shud ask beng hui to choose a shirt himself for the AUP ball n oso as his belated present. as i tot that there was 50% discount in topshop, v first entered topshop. n ray chose a very very nice shirt for beng hui which cost rm149(jealous lee..)

after trying few shirts, he decided on one of the shirt which i love very much despite its freakin high price. anyway, bout 10 persons sharing his present, so shud b ok la.. i was broke!!! i got no money to buy my a new shirt for tat ball. i tried to save money to buy a camera as i hav been thinking of it for long time.
but then, dav has to collect the shirt at 1U branch since there was no more size S in the pyramid branch.

nvm la.. for our big bro beng hui who treat me very good, fetching me to pyramid, to ktm station almost everyday. that's wat u deserved!

checking mail, u sounded like u were in a dillema. u didnt know wat to do, whether to change ur course or to study at another college. reading ur mail, i had a same feeling of how felt when i was choosing whether to continue with my law studies or to begin with my actuarial science studies. finally, i made a decision tat time n i m still happy with it. i hope tat u can think seriously, dun come to inti jz bcoz of my presence(perasan). anyway, i ll b leaving by august 2007 n u cant c me there anymore. think seriously, if ur financial situation is not a problem, let's make the best decision. anyway, talk to ur sis n mum. then only u make decision.

dream of me? i hope i can dream of u too. hehe ---sweet---

Monday, July 17, 2006

a sudden worry bout my future

today after the prep course class, dav, beng hui n i went to sunway pyramid for an american edu fair. knowing that drake U, nebraska lincoln U booths ll b there, i was quite excited to check out more bout the course that i intended to study although i was kinda tired n couldnt wait to go home.

as v reached there n parked our car, a guard on his 'vehicle' that is used to send customers from their cars to lifts approached us. wow! this was really my first time of taking this type of 'vehicle'. anyway, it looked more like a vehicle that golfers use. haha...

as v reached the convention centre, i was disappointed as chia yi told me tat there were no advisors from US at all, those standing there were only students that were here during their summer break. and, surprisingly, i saw khai au (my senior with the same major of mine who left for US in august 2005) standing at the booth of drake U. he looked thinner. haha. mayb life in US was too hard. terrible... GENIUSSSS, he passed the first 2 professional papers. GOD!!! i was really proud of him.

however, knowing tat he has passed the first 2 papers, a sudden worry bout my future emerged in my mind. ll i pass? mayb not even the first paper. every sat n sun, i go to coll for a 9-1pm class jz for tat first professional paper preparation course but i was so blur almost all the time. i dun think i can pass it in nov when i actually take the exam. PLS, pray for me.

therefore, throughout the whole day, i was stressed, thinking of how lazy i was these few weeks. i shud really start studying as the acc test n assgn due was coming, final was coming too.

after taking a long 'nap' from 6-11pm, i woke up n planned to study. u jz finished attending the function n u shared ur excitements n happiness with me. after few smses, u could know tat i wasnt really happy mayb due to the stress aroused from unavoidable comparisons. i was touched, u could know how i feel at that moment when i didnt even mention bout 1 single thing regarding my feeling. Dear, u r jz too caring.

tonite, b4 i started to do my revision, i sent an email to u, telling u my future plan. mayb u cant understand when u read it, but dun worry, all i need is time. hopefully angels ll bless us so tat all my efforts pay.

dun worry bout the future, who knows mayb the nx minute v ll get bombed n everything jz gone? let's treasure the current moment v hav.

tanya chua's song - BEAUTIFUL LOVE : "zhe ge shi jie sui shi dou yao beng ta 这个世界随时都要崩塌, wo mei you qi ta de yuan wang 我没有其他的愿望, jia ru ming tian jiang xiao shi le 假如明天将消失了, cheng xian zai wo ai zhe 乘现在我爱着, zhi xiang ji de bei ni bao zhe wen rou de gan shou 只想记得被你抱着温柔的感受, love's beautiful"
english version : "this world might collapse anytime, i dun hav any other hopes. if tomorrow ll disappear, while i m still in love, i jz wanna remember the feeling of being hugged by u. love's beautiful~"

Friday, July 14, 2006

it's ur bday, fren!

7/14. it's beng hui's bday. not feeling well today. n u r not feeling well too, wat a coincidence.

in the afternoon,dav n i bought a cake from baker's cottage for beng hui (actually, it's beng hui who choose the cake). i m so soli for tat, jz try to b straight forward, i know, any surprise on one's bday is nv a surprise since everyone would expect something different to happen.

furthermore, i m soli again. those ppl who v call to meet at canteen for the birthday cake werent there at that time. v didnt know wat to do. jz feel kinda embarassing to sing a bday song when there were only few ppl there. finally, it was done.

waiting for our karaoke session which ll b at 3, beng hui n i went to sunway pyramid for window-shopping since i m really broke this month while waiting for dav to finish his CF meeting. SOLI again, v expected more ppl to b there for the singing k, but it was all nature club's fault which pulled our frens like kuku, ray, stanley to kuala selangor for the fireflies.

haha. he's the only guy in coll tat i can share my fashion sense n ideas with. not bad to meet someone like this. it was 3 o'clock n v got to the redbox to get a room for 3. v were shocked when the staff there told us it was rm22/person. oh shit! this price was almost equivalent to the price of singing at nite. n then, v left for the movie - pirates of the carribean 2. b4 v entered the cinema, i suddenly thought of this Q:"is the rm22 the charge for adult? as a student, is shud get a lower price." mayb it was our fault, v forgot to tell them v r students!!!

anyway, the movie was funny n interesting. not bad! that's all for the celebration.

soli, buddy, v expected it to b more unforgettable. n... ur present is reaching. pls wait. ur gf is being transfered from melaka to kl by air-mail. dun worry.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

the unforgettable nite

i was dying yesterday, for my public speaking assignment n presentation. as i had to start practising, i sms n told u it was the time to stop chatting for a while.

actually i felt quite soli at that time, i hope that u can understand my reasons of doing tat. at my current point of life, studies is everything for me. no matter wat happen, i wouldnt giv up (despites when some entertainments like singing k that outweigh books haha..) i can nv compromise with any obstacles that might pull me back or stop me from moving on.

so, practising till 1am in front of the mirror, i finally satisfied with my gestures, tone, n speed of talking. i was so happy tat i could finally continued chatting with u. it was a wonderful nite. the weather was jz wat i like the most. it was after rainning, so uncomfortable besides its humidity. i love it so much.

as before i told u tat it was time to go on bed, u sent a sms to me. the sms was still in my hp now. i love it so much. it was the first time of mine feeling so warm, n sweet, really. it surprised me, nevertheless, made me into a very very very happy mood. as i was so worry bout wat would happen in the future, this sms told me tat those worries were jz too much. telling u tat i would b leaving for US nx yr, i really thought that everything would jz end. from ur sms, i could c tat u were kind of upset, but i didnt know wat to do.

it was until i consulted my fren, my buddy bout this, "y would u wanna start a relationship at this time as u know tat u ll b leaving for US nx yr. dont u afraid the distance might pull both of u further apart?"

his answered firmly, "if u had faith in urself n also herself, nothing would hinder u from doing so. u nv know wat ll happen in the future, y dun v giv it a try? let's say, if both of u finally overcome it, doesnt ur relationship bcome more precious? if unfortunately, it ends as it is murdered by distance, u ll hav no regret. anyway, b ready to let go if anything really happen during that period of separation."

n then this funny guy, ended his "speech" with a chinese song "ni na me ai ta, wei shen me bu ba ta liu xia? wei shen me bu shuo xin di hua? ni shen ai ta... which is ‘‘ 你那么爱他,为什么不把他留下,为什么不说心底话? 你深爱他。。。’’ translated version: "u love her/him so much, y dun u ask her to stay? y dun u tell her wat u think? u love her so much."

god... true. thanks, buddy. u really taught me a lot.

therefore tat nite, i didnt hesitate at all to reply u, telling u wat i thought. wat a sweet nite! it was my first time of encountering with imsonia due to over 'syok', really. lying on the bed since 1am, i only slept at 3.30am ( who cares bout the presentation ?!" ). i couldnt stop myself from replying ur msgs although i was really tired at tat time. i reread ur msgs, smiling.. again n again. SYOK SENDIRI! n, u were doin the same thing. haha!!! this was the chemistry.

on the nx day, i was so energetic to present my speech. n i got a good feedback too, the whole class including the lecturer burst of laughing when i ridiculed myself. hehe. i didnt mind. n i got 20/25!!! improved!!!

thank u, my source of inspiration.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

everthing is so different since that day

since that day, my life has changed a lot, really. duno y. i nv expected this to happen to me.

via sms, i got to know u. at first, thinking that there was no big deal to know a person tat i hav nv met, v chatted for bout 1 day. knowing that u r 18, also born in 1988, like me, i was so happy to now someone at the same age with me. it was not easy for an coincidence to happen, especially when 2 persons staying in almost the same area met on internet. the probability is jz less than 1/1000000000. thank god.

at first, i thought u were a very open-minded ppl, happy, hav no problems surrounding u. after few smses n emails, i got to know ur problems. it really astonished me. i wondered how would i react if all those things happened to me. but u, u overcame it very well. really, it really inspired me so much.

u r blue, similar to me. u like to look at the sky, n might end up spending few hrs with tat. i was so happy when i heard tat - it was like knowing somebody who has the same thoughts with me. other than tat, there is a certain level of chemistry between both of us. those few days, u made my life became so warm, really.

the feelings were strange. i nv experienced it b4 even when some girlz actually took an active role in knowing me previously. u r the first one.