can i cry? i guess i cant. even if i cry, it doesnt help.
hav u even been in a dillema? u got into trouble after helping others, the 3rd party still said tat it was ur fault. u cant blame the one tat seeks help from u. blaming urself is of coz stupid. but the 3rd party claim tat u r the one who shud b blamed. i hate this! y m i the one who is wrong? i m not! hav u ever thought on my side? if i dun help due to my own selfishness, i ll b blamed by the one who asked me for helps too. i m in a dillema? i m puzzled!!!
the story began in this wonderful rainy morning. rainy - the weather i love the most. as i almost reached coll, i got a msg from beng hui, asking me to write his name in the attendance list since he would b late due a traffic jam in klang. i was puzzled when i read his msg. i didnt know wat to do. i even wished tat i nv read his msg or he sent this msg to others.
as i reached coll, beng hui still not there yet. MY GODDDD... i prayed n prayed, hoping tat he would b in the class before that big fat american meatball - borges locked the door. if it wasnt his class, i didnt mind helping beng hui. but it's his class, n today's class attendance of being a jury (trial attendace) cost everyone of us 5% or even my trial performance marks, another 10%.
my wish didnt work, tat meatball locked the door. as the attendace list was passed to me. i didnt know wat to do. after writing my name, i passed it to william. after he wrote his, i wrote 'LEE BENG HUI', as i tot writing his name apart from mine would help even if tat meatball checked the namelist n investigated it. after tat, wat i did was to pray tat v would get the break soon as the door would b opened n it was the only chance tat beng hui could get in.
"there is no break today." that meatball said. i was shocked. my god!!! n the name list had been passed to his table tat i couldnt change it anymore. as the trial was almost end, i tot i was safe.
v, as juries were asked to discuss who would win the case outside the classroom. as v went into the classroom with an answer, tat meatball shouted, "i found tat there were 2 imaginery persons in the namelist, who did it?"
"if u dun admit, i would call ur name 1-by-1 n investigate it", he countinue barking.
"oh shit..," i murmured.
as tot i would continue with my strategy of not admitting, wern how put his hand up n admitted tat he wrote for grace (his gf). so, i followed.
wat a F!!! he asked us to stay in the classroom while others were leaving. before everyone had left the classroom, that brutal meatball barked n yelled at wern how n i, "it is like stealing! who teach u ur ethics? i duno, but i m sure tat i ll start it by giving punishments." it was very embarassing bcoz others heard wat he was barking.
punishments??? no!!! i cant lose my trial marks.. i really need it. i cant score well in my final, tats y i worked so hard on my trial.
he didnt tell us wat the punishments r, but i think my marks as being a jury would b forfeited n mayb my trial performance marks too. NO!!! i cant afford to lose my scholarships n my dean's list. pls!!!
i attended the trial as a jury n i did quite well in my trial performance, y m i the one who is penalized? no way! not fair! i was even criticized by some ppl.
y m i so unlucky tat beng hui sent the msg to me but not dav or julian? pls tell me... if i didnt write his name there, i would blame myself for being so selfish. but as i did it, i would die too. i hate this.
i cant lose my scholarships. NOOOOOOOOOO